Till Death Do Us Part
by FallenAngel1157
Summary: Otoya gets in a bad car accident and becomes Tokiya's shugotenshi, or guardian angel. Warning: Yaoi... MA possibly starting in chapter 4! ;)
1. Chapter 1 - Death is Near

** Hi there! Fallen here! Sorry about the long wait for a story (if there was one), I've just been so braindead lately ^_^' I got this idea yesterday, and yes: Prepare for a tragic story. So have fun reading and shed a few tears, or whatever! Laugh at the pain if you like that... **

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[Otoya PoV]

"I'll be back in a bit Tokiya," I turned to look back at him as I opened the door to my sports car. He was standing in the doorway, arms crossed and a blank look on his face. Well, not completely blank. I could tell that he was pissed at me.

"Toki I said I'm sorry..." I walked over to where he was standing in the doorway and wrapped my arms around him. _I can't believe he's still mad about that... _

He turned his head to the side, avoiding to meet my gaze. I pouted at him and kissed his cheek.

"Aw c'mon Tokiya... It isn't that bad... 'I'm sorry I broke it.' There. Better?" He looked down at me with a glare on his face, arms still crossed.

"... I told you it was important to me..." I sighed and let go of him, then walked over and got in my car. _Don't get mad... It's not that big of a deal. He's always like this, Otoya. Maybe if you buy him some pocky it'll make things better. You remember what happened last time you two played pocky game... _A slight smile appeared on my face from the memory. God, that was hot...

I started the car and pulled back out of the garage. Tokiya turned and walked in the house when I started backing out, but I saw him peek back at me through the open door.

"Bye Toki!" I waved to him with a smile on my face. I was definitely buying pocky for him.

I drove down the road, glad we decided to choose a house out in the middle of nowhere. It took a little while to get downtown, but it was definitely worth the scenic drive and lack of obsessive fangirls. Not that I didn't appreciate them, don't get me wrong. It was just a little... _Scary_ when they stalked you day in and day out.

Another great thing about living out here was that there was little traffic. Just a car or transport truck every once in a while. And no cops. I could speed as much as I wanted, especially in my sports car.

I pushed the car to 70, slowly gaining speed until about 90. The trees and fields were all a blur now, lost in the dust. I laughed a little, loving how everything looked at high speed. Tokiya always said I 'drove like a maniac' but I didn't care. It was awesome!

I started nearing a dead end intersection, the kind where you can only go left or right. I pushed my foot down on the brake, but nothing happened.

"Wh-what?!" I stomped my foot on the brake and it didn't do a single thing.

"SHIT!" I stomped down again and again, still nothing happening. The end of the road was nearing. I was in too much of a shock to even think about turning the wheel to steer somewhat away.

The car hit the metal barrier between the road and the steep tree-filled hill. It drove right through, the speed having a factor in the force. I was scared to death. My heart was beating out of my chest as the airbag exploded in my face and the car started doing flips. It rolled down the hill, windshield breaking and the sides and top getting dented in. I felt my leg bend at a strange angle as part of the car hit a tree.

Slowly, it stopped moving. I looked down at myself. My vision was blurring, my mind clouded over. I shifted a little to the side and cringed as I felt a sharp pain course through my right arm. I turned to look at it. A long, sharp, white shard of my bone stuck out. A long gash traveled down where the bone was poking through. My left leg was bent below the knee, and I could feel the same for my other. Blood soaked through my shirt and I gently touched my chest with my left hand. Small bumps, no doubt broken ribs. The car was heating up and I noticed that the hood was smoking. Flames licked up through the gray mist.

"Fuck... Oh shit..." I hastily unbuckled the seat belt and tried to open the door. It was stuck, having gotten caved in when it hit the tree. I pushed all my weight against it, trying to unjam it. My arm flamed with pain from me leaning against it, smashing it between my body and the door. The flames on the hood were getting larger. More uncontrollable and wild. A trickle of blood dripped over my eye from a cut that was made from a broken shard of glass.

I stopped pushing on the door and put my arms up in front of my face. I knew that the engine was going to explode. All those hours of Grand Theft Auto didn't teach me nothing. The flames came closer and closer. I squeezed my eyes shut in fear. Finally, an explosion rocked the car.

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** So! Chapter one! Hope you enjoyed that little bit! Chapter 2 will hopefully come soon... If I don't forget :3 I'll try to post it next week. Leave a review of what you thought! They're really appreciated ^_^ And I've been trying to think up some smut for The Twelfth of May, so your ideas weren't forgotten. I've just been busy... And apparently I'm only good at writing smut when I'm really really tired XD Thanks to Ren-chan for posting Water Vodka for me! I was kind of embarrassed to post it... Kind of scared of what sort of reaction I would get. So go check it out if you want. From what I heard, it got good reviews -3- So like I said, I'll try to remember to post the rest of this. I might not have time to write the rest of it this weekend so it might be a couple weeks. I have two projects due that I've barely started on ^_^' Bye! :D**


	2. Chapter 2 - Death Is Strange

**Hi there! Chapter two, whoop whoop! I hope you're enjoying the story so far! I really enjoy writing for people, so if you like it leave a review! It could just be something simple like "Hi! I like this! Bye!" XD I would just like to know what people would like to read. So anyways, ONTO THE STORY! :3**

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[Otoya PoV]

My arms slumped down to the side. I kept my eyes closed. For some reason, it didn't hurt as much as I expected. It was just really warm. I opened my eyes slowly. Somehow, the intense heat didn't seem to burn as much as one would think. I looked out of the corner of my eye and saw the bright orange. It was slowly engulfing me, burning up my body. _Why doesn't it hurt? _I was still quite dizzy from when the car had been rolling down the hill. I coughed a little as the smoke swirled around me.

It was then that I noticed. I moved my arm up to wipe the blood from my face. But for some reason, I didn't have to move it differently to work around the break. Because there wasn't one.

"What the hell...?" I ran my finger over where the gash had been. It was completely healed. No, it was as if it never was. There wasn't any sort of indication that I had ever even injured myself. I glanced down at my body to see if the rest had healed. That was when I got a shock.

Not only was I healed, I seemed to be in another body. It was still me, same old Otoya. But as I looked down I saw that my injured body wasn't moving with this new one. It was as if I was... dead.

_No... It can't be... I was fine just a minute ago! What about Tokiya? _My eyes surely weren't tricking me. I could move my arms and legs freely, but my actual limbs weren't responding. They hung there limply at my sides.

I moved a little and crawled over to the passenger seat. I turned to look at myself, bloody and broken, fire engulfing the lifeless body. _Yup. That's me. Dead. Damn I look like crap... _

I pulled the handle and pushed the door open. This one wasn't stuck like the other. I stepped out of the car and walked over to a tree, leaning against it. Suddenly, a mass amount of information hit me like a tidal wave. I stumbled a little. It felt like I had got a headache out of the blue, then it vanished just as quick. One thing stood out the most, though.

"... Shugotenshi..." I knew what that was, of course. A guardian angel. A soul sent to protect. The children back at the orphanage loved an old painting. It was of a two children, a boy and a girl, walking together. There was a beautiful angel behind them, watching over them.

_Preserve. Protect. Love._

* * *

"Hello?" I watched as Tokiya answered his phone. It was about 10pm, hours after I had left. I wasn't sure if anyone had found me yet. Although it would be quite difficult not to notice a burning car in the middle of nowhere... Then again, it _was _in a forest. A small one, but still a forest.

"Y-yes... Who is this...?" His expression twisted into one of confusion, but at the same time curious as to why someone would be calling this late. Before the phone rang, he had been sitting in the living room. No doubt waiting for me. He had finished a book, then started watching a movie.

"..." I saw his face grow grim with the shock. I guess they finally found me...

Tokiya's hand went up to his mouth. I walked over to him and rested my hand on his shoulder.

"It's ok... I'm still here," I said with my head tilted, wondering if he could hear me.

"... Thank you... Goodbye." I could hear the strain in his voice. He hung up the phone and let his hand drop down to his side. He was staring down at the ground, expression unreadable from behind his locks of dark hair. A single tear streamed down his face and dripped down to the floor. His hand tightened around the phone. He moved his head a little to the side to look at it, then brought his arm up and smashed it on the ground. The screen shattered into pieces.

"... Fuck!" He turned around and I saw his face: a strange combination of rage, fear, and sadness. I quickly darted to the side as he walked past. I didn't like the idea of things going through me... It sounded creepy. I didn't belong in this world anyways. I was only here for him.

He walked into the kitchen and leaned against the counter, head in his hands. I heard him whispering to himself, so I went a little closer to hear what he was saying.

"... Fuck... Oh my fucking god..." He stopped mumbling then. I watched as the single tear multiplied, now many streaming down his face like a river. I felt my heart ache for him. I didn't want him to feel this way... I hadn't thought how it would effect him...

His phone started ringing again, still laying shattered on the kitchen floor. He glanced over at it through his hands, then turned back to ignore it. I knew he didn't want to talk to anyone. Tokiya wouldn't want anyone to know that he had reacted this way, even to something as painful as losing someone.

When it continued ringing, he looked back over at it. He trudged past me and picked up the phone, taking deep breaths before answering to calm himself.

"... Hi..." He squeezed his eyes shut to keep from crying. Even though the person couldn't see him, he still wanted to look his best while speaking.

"Ichii? I just heard... Are you okay? Do you need us to come over? Well Masato's already dragging me over..." I could hear Ren's panicked voice on the other end of the phone, clear as day if I just concentrated. My hearing was apparently a lot better now.

"... I'm fine..."

"Ichinose you fucking idiot!" I heard a shuffle and Syo's angry voice in the phone. Tokiya pulled it back. I guess it really was that loud...

"..." Tokiya said nothing, still shocked from the first call. His eyes were red from crying, his face still wet with the fresh tears.

I sat down in one of the chairs in the kitchen. I looked down at the ground, my eyes filled with tears.

"I'm sorry Toki... I didn't mean to..." A tear rolled off my cheek, splattering on the table.

Tokiya started pacing in the kitchen, Ren and Syo both talking to him at the same time. He set his hand on the table right where my tears were dripping to.

He looked down at his hand as another tear dripped down. It landed right on the back of his hand, earning a confused expression from him. He glanced up at the ceiling.

"Ichii? Ya there?"

"... Yeah... I think there might be a leak in the roof... I should get that fixed..."

"OTOYA JUST FUCKING DIED AND ALL YOU CARE ABOUT IS THE FUCKING ROOF?!" Syo screeched on the other end of the phone. Tokiya's face darkened. He pulled the phone away from his ear and hung up on them, just as Natsuki started going off about Syo's temper.

His hand once again tightened around the phone, but this time he set it down carefully on the table. He walked over to the living room and flopped onto the couch, pulling a pillow over his head as the phone started ringing again. He closed his eyes and pulled his legs to his chest, laying with the pillow clamped over his head even after the phone stopped ringing. He turned so his back was to the room, the front of him facing the back of the couch.

I walked over and sat next to him. I let my hand wander down him a little, resting on his waist. I moved my thumb back and forth how I would sometimes do on his cheek when he was upset.

"Don't worry Tokiya," I smiled and leaned down to him so I was whispering in his ear. "I love you."

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**All right! Chapter 2! I was gonna add a bit more but I thought that it was at a good place to leave off... And make you all wait in suspense for next week! MUAHAHAHAHA! And I finally finished my math project! So I might have more time to write... Which means possibly another story! X3 Sorry for disappearing all summer... I wrote that one story and completely disappeared ^_^' But I promise to finish this one!~**

** Sayonara! Jikai o ai shimashou! ^_^**


	3. Chapter 3 - Death and Sunflowers

**Back again, are we? :3 Chapter 3! I'm soooo excited! I hope you guys are enjoying this story! I know the whole review thing is probably getting old... I should stop asking... But seriously! I love hearing your opinions on the story -3- So today... the sadness continues... And sorry for the extreme repetition of words in chapter 2. I was completely out of it and I wasn't paying any attention ^_^' I'm tired... Same night so I'm starting this now. So say hello to Fallen from the future when you get to the end of the story! Oh and note: All the one liner italics in this chapter are Tokiya thinking. I think I'm gonna do that for the rest of the story, also. But that's not the case with the ones in paragraphs... It might be a little confusing. ****Sumimasen... ^_^' **** Tanoshimu! ^_^**

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_Black. Everywhere I look I see the color black. Black and sunflowers.  
_

Reiji stood on Tokiya's right. He was also feeling down, now that he only had one kouhai. His arm was wrapped around Tokiya, his head resting on my love's shoulder. Senpai was crying just a bit, his eyes red and a few tears streaming down his face.

Syo was standing off to the side with Natsuki. He was wearing the usual black with a bit of pink, but instead of pink he was wearing red. On his black fedora he had tied a red ribbon around it. Masato was wearing a yukata, Ren wearing a black suit with the tie undone. Masato glared at him. He was angry that Ren wasn't being as formal as he should. Natsuki was wearing a big black sweater. I swear, I had never seen him so... Depressed. His usual smile was gone, instead replaced by a dark look that one would only believe could belong to Satsuki. Cecil was standing alone, quietly waiting for Camus to get there. Ranmaru was next to Reiji, his eyes flickering to him, making sure he was okay. Ai was, as usual, staring off into space with that deadpan look of his.

My eyes darted away. I couldn't stand to see them like this.

_Stay quiet... Don't think about him..._ Tokiya's voice crept into my head and I glanced over at him. His eyes were shut, his head tilted towards the ground. I guess it was starting... I knew that sooner or later I would be able to hear him.

A man came over with a small box. My remains. They had decided to cremate me after Tokiya saw the body. His eyes had filled with tears. He looked down at the ground with his fists balled and said, "Burn it."

They had already started digging the hole for which it was to go in. The man slowly lowered the small box into the ground, then started to cover it with dirt. Tokiya crossed his arms over his chest. They tightened around him. It looked as if he were trying to hold himself together with them.

Then they placed the marker. It wasn't just a plaque; Tokiya hadn't had as much money as Masato or Ren, but he spent a good amount on the grave marker. It was a small obelisk, engraved with my name and a few lines from a song that I had wrote, Brand New Melody. Masato had felt guilty about having Tokiya pay for it all, so he payed for a third of it, Natsuki also pitching in to help Tokiya.

Reiji-senpai hugged Tokiya tighter, the tears in his eyes welling up. Tokiya stared off into space, his mind blank.

_Those flowers over there are pretty... And that's a beautiful angel statue... I wonder how much it cost? The obelisk was quite a lot... How much for that statue?_

I rolled my eyes. Tokiya was such a dork sometimes.

The man left, first whispering his condolences to Tokiya. Tokiya nodded in acknowledgement.

Everyone stood there awkwardly for a few moments. Silent. I felt as if I were in a war zone, the escapees afraid to be found if they made a sound.  
... Eh, I was probably just playing too many video games.

Ren decided to break the silence.

"... Well... I guess we're gonna need a replacement Otoya for our next tour..." Masato looked at Ren in disbelief. He took his fist and smacked it against Ren's chest.

"Jinguji!" Ren rolled his eyes.

"What? We can't stop the whole band for him! We gotta get on with our lives, Hi-ji-ri-ka-wa." He said Masato's last name very slowly, obviously trying to get on his nerves. Masato turned to Ren and brushed some hair aside, whispering in his ear.

"... You don't say something like that at a funeral," He whispered. "It's disrespectful to the dead... And the living." He glanced over at Tokiya, who was starting to look like Ai. He was staring off into space, no emotion whatsoever.

Natsuki padded over to Tokiya. His arms were behind his back, holding something out of sight.

"Hi Tokiya-san," Natsuki smiled sadly at Tokiya. Tokiya continued to stare off into space. "Tokiiiiyaaa-saaaaaan!"

"Hm?" Tokiya looked back at Natsuki.

"You're so cute Tokiya-san!" Natsuki giggled a little. "Oh yeah! Before I forget!"

Tokiya looked questioningly at Natsuki as the tall blonde pulled the small bundle into view.

"It's a teddy bear!" He said proudly, handing the small red bear to Tokiya. The bear was obviously handmade. It had button eyes and a small purple ribbon tied around it's neck.

_It's the same color as his hair. And his eyes. _Tokiya's thoughts yet again came into my mind. I smiled at them. I was glad he wasn't forgetting me.

"... Thank you, Shinomiya-san," Tokiya bowed his head to Natsuki. Natsuki giggled.

"No need to be so formal, Tokiya-san!" Tokiya looked back up and smiled.

"I know... But thank you." His small smile faded as he looked down at the bear, its red arms sticking straight forward from being newly stuffed. The purple ribbon was tied in a bow off to the right of the bear. It wasn't tiny: probably about the length of Tokiya's wrist to his elbow.

"Masa-chan helped me make it," Natsuki said cheerfully to Tokiya. "Did I do okay?"

"... You did fine, Shinomiya-sa-" Tokiya stopped himself. "... Natsuki-san."

* * *

"Ichinose, have you been forgetting to burn the incense?" Masato stood up and walked across the living room to the small cabinet and opened it. A picture of me and Tokiya was in a frame, a huge smile on my face. My arm was around him and I was winking. Even Tokiya was smiling a little in the picture. I remember that day. We had gone to the forest with Natsuki and Cecil. Syo had to work on set with Ryuya, and he would never give up a day with his idol. So Cecil said he would go with us and Natsuki so Natsuki didn't feel alone if me and Tokiya had "too much fun". Tokiya had loved the scenic views, the tall trees blocking out the harsh rays of the sun. He loved being in the woods. "Perfect reading light", he had often told me.

Tokiya said nothing now, though. He hadn't read a book in days, let alone think about picking one up.

Masato lit the incense, the sweet smell wafting through the room. With his free hand he dusted off the top of the frame.

"How many times do I have to tell you about this? If you don't burn the incense, Otoya's tama won't go to rest." He turned to look at Tokiya, arms crossed. Tokiya was laying on the couch on his back, staring blankly up at the ceiling.

"Yeah, Toki... You don't wanna make Otoyan angry," Reiji tilted his head to the side and stared down at Tokiya. Tokiya didn't move from his spot or even show any sort of acknowledgement that he had heard them.

_Drowning... Slowly, painfully, drowning..._

Today happened to be a Saturday. That meant Reiji and Masato were on "Tokiya Duty". The guys had devised a schedule to keep Tokiya out of trouble. It went somewhat like this:

**Sunday**- Ranmaru and Camus. Arguing **all day**. They couldn't have put together a worse couple of people...

**Monday**- Syo. He always tried to get Tokiya outside to do something, then failed and got mad at him. He would get even angrier as Tokiya ignored his efforts, then would disappear and do his own thing.

**Tuesday**- Cecil. Cecil tried to do some little magic tricks to cheer Tokiya up, then would put on a movie or something. Out of everyone, he was one that Tokiya enjoyed most. He didn't get all up in his face annoying him, yet he didn't leave him alone.

**Wednesday**- Natsuki. Natsuki was horrid. He would watch Piyo-chan and dance and sing, then make Tokiya play "dress up"... Tokiya started to understand why Syo seemed to hate Natsuki at times.

**Thursday**- Haruka and Ai. They usually just left Tokya alone to himself. Haruka -because of her kind nature- didn't want to upset him and his wishes, and Ai ... He was quite insensitive, not knowing emotion and all. He decided to leave Tokiya alone though because he didn't have any idea how to cheer someone up. Tokiya got really sad on Thursdays. It was close to Saturday, and he felt alone and hated.

**Friday**- Ren. He ALWAYS went clubbing on Friday nights, so it somewhat bugged him to be "stuck" with Tokiya. He tried to convince Tokiya to come with him, but to his dismay, was always refused. His clubbing days slowly shifted to Saturdays after the schedule started.

**Saturday**- Reiji and Masato. Tokiya was worst on Saturday because I had died on a Saturday. He **dreaded** Saturday. Reiji got this day because Tokiya was _his_ kouhai: Therefore _his_ responsibility. Masato had signed himself up for Saturday. He was, no doubt, the most calm and understanding. He also cleaned up a bit around the house for Tokiya. He and Reiji enjoyed making food for Tokiya, as he had seemed to have forgotten what eating was.

"Toki you need to get out soon," Reiji smiled at his kouhai. "Seriously! How long has it been? A couple months or so?"

"... One month, two weeks, three days." Damn. Tokiya was down to the day.

"... Um... Or that..." Reiji pouted a little bit. I also pouted at Tokiya. He was so lonely. I felt like it was all my fault.

_If I hadn't been so insensitive..._

I sat down on the floor next to the couch. I scooched a little so I was next to where Tokiya was laying on the couch. I gently rested my hand on him. I pushed his hair a little bit. and to my surprise it actually moved a bit. Tokiya took no notice to it though. I lay my arm on his chest, then my head. I stared at him with my big red eyes. _Can he feel me? _

Tokiya shivered a bit. He grabbed the blanket off the top of the couch and threw it over himself. Aaaaand it went through me... Creepy...

"See Ichinose? Do you want obake hanging around here?" Masato glanced over at Tokiya. "It's thought that the dead bring cold." He continued cleaning the window as he had been a second ago.

"... Ghosts aren't real, Hijirikawa. That's just some stupid western myth. And if it were a spirit, _which it's not_, it would be at the place of death or burial." Reiji looked at Tokiya with a confused face. Tokiya shrugged. "... I read it in a book."

"Books are great, Ichinose, but they don't give you experience," Masato went up on his tip toes to reach the top of the window. "After my grandfather died, the house would be eerily quiet. The cold would come on, and I'd have to huddle under the kotatsu with Mai. Believe me, it's not some western myth."

Tokiya shuddered again, so I moved back. Sure, I wanted to be near him... But I didn't want to make him suffer.

His hand went up and entwined itself around a rosary. My rosary. He had gotten it upon my death. I had forgotten my good luck charm that day, leaving it on the counter in the bathroom. I'd been in such a rush, and I decided to leave it instead of putting it on.

"If Otoya is here, do you really want him to be hearing that you don't think he exists?" Masato inquired. It was a good point... Although I didn't mind much. I was just happy that I could be here with him.

"I'm telling you Hijirikawa. He's. Not. Here."

* * *

**Aaaaaand the chapter ends with Tokiya denying things! Oh Toki! You little goof! I looked up a few things for this one... I got a book at the library on Shinto. It's quite interesting, actually. It says that the tama (souls) stay around before joining up with the kami. Food is given as an offering at the family shrine, and the tama in return for the food gives blessings and protection. It's really interesting... And an obake is like a poltergeist, a restless soul that had a bad death or didn't die in honor. They bring bad things to people until they _can_ rest. So Masato was pretty much saying that Otoya was gonna fuck with Tokiya for not believing him. And the next few chapters: Some yaoi might happen ;) I'm gonna start writing chapter 4 right away! And I have Monday off, so I can write more then too! :3 If you like Hetalia, check out the weird inside joke I made into a short... Heh. I was bored and not in a mood to write something serious, so I took a break from this story. But do not fret; THERE WILL BE MORE!  
**

**Sayonara! Jikai o ai shimashou! ^_^**


	4. Chapter 4 - With Death Comes Jealousy

**Why hello there! This chapter is for yaoi enthusiasts Ren-chan Jinguji and Tokittoki! There's gonna be a bit of drunken sexy time in this one... Yay! This one might be a little longer than the others (hehe) because I have _so much_ to fit in the chapter! Thanks to Tokittoki for the idea of Tokiya's view on this... I didn't know how I was going to start this part out until I read the reviews ^_^ Arigato! Tanoshimu! ^_^**

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"Ya sure ya don't wanna come with this time?" Ren raised an eyebrow at Tokiya. His face was that of extreme boredom.

"... Yes, I'm sure. Unlike you, I'd rather not cheat on my love." Tokiya stared off out the window. He was trying his best not to make eye contact with Ren. The ginger sighed.

"Ichii... Three things... One: I don't _cheat_ on Masato... He just has to share me," Ren shrugged. "And he doesn't seem to mind much... In fact I don't think he gives two shits.

"Two: Sorry to break it to ya, but Otoya's dead. It's been A YEAR Ichii, a year! You're body's probably just begging for some fun... Am I right?" Tokiya opened his mouth to answer, but Ren cut him off. "And three: You don't _have _to fuck anyone! Just come with to have some fun! Get drunk, dance a bit, maybe just make a friend or two! You... _do _know what a friend is, don't you? Mr Antisocial?"

I blinked in disbelief. Really? _Really?_ What the fuck, Ren? He never said anything like that to me... No wonder Tokiya hated him so much.

"... I don't want to cheat. How many times do I have to tell you? And yes I know what a friend is..." Tokiya muttered the last part under his breath. I could tell he was at breaking point. He was gonna get reeeaaaaally angry soon...

"Ichii... It's. Not. Cheating. If. He's. Dead." He said it slowly.

_I'm not a two year old... You just don't seem to get it, jackass._

"To me it is, Ren." Tokiya crossed his arms. I sat down on the floor across from them. They were sitting on the couch in the living room. Ren, as usual, had his feet up on the coffee table. Then Tokiya got the blame when Masa came over to clean... It was glass.

Ren blinked a couple times, still staring straight at Tokiya.

"... Fine then. I'm leaving," Ren stood up and walked over to the door, putting his shoes on. "Have fun here alone,_ Ichii_."

Tokiya watched as Ren grabbed his coat.

_Alone... Alone... Not even Otoya here..._

I sighed. He still didn't believe that I was here...

"I'm here, Toki. I'm here," I sat down next to him on the couch. "I'm always right here."

Tokiya suddenly got up and walked over to the stairs. His hand rested gently on the banister.

"... Wait for me Ren... I'm going to go change." I guess he was gonna go after all... Great...

I followed Tokiya upstairs. He walked into our bedroom. It still looked the same. The king size bed on one side, the back of it against the wall. Two of the windows in the room were on either side of it. On the side where I always slept was the red bear Natsuki had given him. The dresser was over to one side, closet on the other. He still had the same pictures up in the room, the same small notes I had written down on sticky notes stuck to the mirror of the small vanity. It was still cracked.

That's what had started that fight, that stupid vanity. I don't even remember where we got it. I think it was his grandmother's, or something. We usually just used it as a desk kinda thing. It was big for a vanity.

I hadn't meant to break the mirror. It was an accident. How was I supposed to know that the stove was on? It wasn't my fault that the buzzer went off right when I turned around with my guitar... I'd jumped from the sudden noise, and the head of the guitar had smashed the mirror.

But now, he walked past it. He opened the drawer of the dresser and pulled out a burgundy tshirt. He glanced at the mirror, then looked quickly away.

_All my fault._

He pulled a pair of dark skinny jeans out of the closet and his favorite jacket; a black leather bomber. Tokiya threw the clothes on and hurried downstairs to meet Ren at the door. Ren had pulled his hair back into a pony tail.

"C'mon," Ren grabbed Tokiya's wrist and led him out to his car.

* * *

The club was loud. _Really loud._

Tokiya stuck close with Ren. He wasn't as used to the feel of a club as Ren was.

"Oi, Ichii!" Ren had to shout at Tokiya to be heard over the blasting music.

"What?" Tokiya yelled back.

"Let's find you someone, kay?" Ren smirked and walked over to a big buff guy.

_I told him no! I said I didn't want anyone! The only fucking reason I came was... I didn't wanna be left alone... That fucking asshole!_

The tall guy looked at Tokiya and shook his head, then yelled something to Ren. Ren shrugged and moved on to the next guy, getting the same response. Tokiya took this as an opportunity to slip away. He headed straight for the bar, the farthest place from Ren.

On his way over, someone bumped into him. I had to push my way between a couple people an him to make him avoid collision with the floor. With so many people around, it wouldn't seem like I had done a thing.

Tokiya stumbled a bit and looked over at the person.

"Sorry! I didn't see you there!" The taller brunette looked at Tokiya with a smile on his face. He had hazel eyes and a black ring pierced on his lip, along with three more hoops on his right ear and a small jewel on the bridge of his nose. His long hair was pulled back in a ponytail, somewhat resembling Ren's.

"I-It's okay..." Tokiya trailed off and blinked a couple times at him.

_He looks older... But he's acting younger... How old is this guy?_

"Um... Where you headed?" The brunette tilted his head a little and raised an eyebrow.

"The bar... Seems like the only place someone could hear themself think," Tokiya stated bluntly, earning a laugh from the man.

"The bar's in the opposite direction! Need some help getting there?" What was this? Something was burning in me... Envy?

"Uh... Sure," Tokiya followed him over to the bar.

_He seems okay. Nothing like Otoya... But okay..._

Comparing?! He was comparing me to this guy?! Some random guy he JUST met?

"So uh... What's your name?" He smiled at Tokiya as they sat down at the bar.

"Tokiya," Tokiya's eyes darted to the side. "You?"

"Roku!" The brunette smiled and winked at Tokiya. "Uh... What do you want?"

* * *

About an hour later, Tokiya was drunk off his ass. He was acting like Hayato... It scared me somewhat.

"And then he told him it was cum! Camus was so disgusted!" Tokiya was laughing so hard that he put his head down on the table. "Shit! I can't see a fucking thing!" He giggled more. Roku had a creepy look on his face.

"Hey, whadaya say we get outta here? People are startin' to leave already," He put his arm around Tokiya. "And I'm not sure if you should drink any more..."

Tokiya turned and looked at him with innocent eyes.

"I can drink as much as I fucking want!" Tokiya smiled really big and giggled more. Roku moved forward and nuzzled him.

"You're so cute..." I wanted to puke. MY Tokiya. MINE. But it's not like I could do anything.

"Wha? No I'm not!" Tokiya shoved him and stood up, stumbling a bit.

"Hey!" Roku wrapped his arm around Tokiya's waist. "Watch out! You almost fell there!"

"Pffft... No..." Tokiya let Roku lead him outside of the club. He stumbled more and leaned against Roku so he didn't fall.

"I know this hotel down the street," He looked down at Tokiya. I could still see that scheming look in his eyes. "It's a love hotel, so it doesn't charge much for a night."

"Love hotel? You don't wanna get it on with me, do ya? 'Cause I already got someone," A huge grin spread across Tokiya's face. "I only love my Oto!"

* * *

Tokiya was pushed against the door. Roku was all over him. That son of a bitch...

He was kissing Tokiya deeply, making Tokiya flame up red. Roku reached around him and turned the door knob to let them in the room.

"Mmm... St-top..." Roku pushed Tokiya back onto the bed, despite his pleading tone. I wanted to hit him so bad... Tokiya was mine, not his...

Roku's hand slid up Tokiya's shirt, pulling it off as he sucked on his neck. His hand moved down to Tokiya's crotch, unzipping the jeans.

"N-no... P-please stop..." Tokiya had his hand up by his face, trying to hide behind it in his drunken state. Roku smiled at his _pitiful efforts_. Oh great... I was starting to hear fragments of his thoughts as well...

"You're a lot sweeter than I anticipated," Roku licked up Tokiya's neck. Tokiya's arm moved up, his hand pushing Roku away from him. Roku stopped and looked down at Tokiya, sweet and innocent. Tokiya pushed himself back on the bed, away from Roku.

"St-stop! I said stop! What don't you understand?" Tokiya had his hands up to his face, hiding still. His legs were pulled up near his chest, together like one of those girls in a hentai. His face was even dusted over with blush.

"_You _don't seem to understand, whore," Roku smirked and reached over to the nightstand. He opened the drawer and pulled out a whip. "Do I have to get rough with you?"

Tears streamed down Tokiya's cheeks.

"G-go away!" Roku glared and socked Tokiya right in the eye. My own grew wide, angry with each hit he took on him. I tried to get close, but it was like there was some sort of wall, keeping me away.

"I guess I have to," Roku snapped the whip over Tokiya's head to scare him. "Prepare for hell, bitch."

* * *

"It's all your fault!"

"_My_ fault? _MY_ fault? It wasn't like I forced it on him!"

"You might as well have!" Masato was arguing with Ren in the kitchen, Tokiya laying between Reiji and I on the couch. Tokiya had his head in his senpai's lap, his eye purple and bruised. His lip was cut and his back wasn't in any good shape from that whip either. My hands balled into fists. I couldn't stand that guy who did this to him... Heartless piece of-

"And don't act like I don't know what you do at the club either!" I heard Masato hiss at Ren. I stood up and walked to the door frame where the kitchen and living room joined. I poked my head around the corner.

"What do you mean?"

"Stop acting stupid, Jinguji! I know that you go around... _Banging_ every living thing you see," Masato looked down away from Ren. "And then you come home and have no time for me..."

"Masa, if sex is all you want-"

"That's not all I want!" Masato shouted at Ren. "You don't get it, do you? You lying, cheating... Bastard! You don't care about me! You never have! You just don't understand! It isn't all about sex!"

I turned around and saw Reiji's somewhat confused face looking up. He was no doubt listening in on their conversation as I was. His hand stopped moving through Tokiya's hair as it had been a minute ago. He was trying to calm him down. My poor Tokiya was still upset and afraid about what had happened the night before. And the hangover seemed to be getting to him.

"But I give you things, Masato. I buy you present-"

"It's not about buying things, Ren! Sure, I appreciate them, but they can't replace the love I'm not receiving!"

"Tch... Sounds like someone's jealous..." He crossed his arms and rolled his eyes.

"You know what? Yes, I am jealous! But only because _I'm_ the one who's supposed to being getting your undivided attention! Not every other piece of ass you see!" Masato's eyes were watering a bit.

"... Whatever..." Ren shook his head and rolled his eyes again.

"I wait for you every day, Ren," Masato was looking up at Ren, but Ren was facing away from him. "I love you so much, but you just don't seem to understand. I always wake up and find you passed out on the couch. The stench of alcohol burning through the house. I treat you with the utmost respect, and honesty and love, and you give me nothing in return. I wouldn't have wanted it to end like this, Jinguji."

Ren's ears perked up and he turned around to face Masato. "What?"

Masato shook his head.

"It's been like this the whole time, Ren. I was always so confused on what to do about you," He looked away from Ren's shocked face. "I like to think that it was Otoya who held us together. He always encouraged me to continue on, hope that it would get better and that you would understand." His hands clenched.

"But now I guess things aren't the way they were before... Are they?"

* * *

**Hehe! Cliffhangers! I thought I'd throw in a bit more drama... I mean c'mon! Masato isn't stupid! He was bound to figure out sometime... And yes, he had known for a while, he just hadn't said anything about it. Mr Shyguy... Like those things in Mario! With the little hoods and the white masks! XD Anyways, this chapter took me FOREVER! I was gonna make the yaoi part longer, but I decided to leave it up to your imaginations ^_^ And just because I'm lazy and my yaoi always sucks unless I'm extremely sleep deprived! Oh wait, that's me all the time! XD There will be some yaoi later on in this story... Maybe or maybe not, it depends. But if you check out my Ren x Masa story I started, Let the Beast Have It's Way, there's gonna be yaoi. I mean, c'mon! It's Ren x Masa! And we have demon Jingujis! Yaaaaay!**

**Sayonara! Jikai o ai shimashou! ^_^**


	5. Chapter 5 - The Fear of the Dead

**Whoa... Up to chapter 5 already! ^_^ I've never written a long story like this before. And I just looked at the thingy and it says there's been 407 views! :O And I ****_just_**** posted this! That's just absolutely amazing! So thanks for sticking around through this story with me ;) I enjoy writing it. I think it's my best yet! For dedication...**

**AbbeyActon**

**Brakenfern**

**Caigdimo**

**DarkAngelz99**

**Free water-drop wind**

**Hydrangea's twisted logic**

**imperativa**

**Kagari Higuchi**

**kousykes**

**Kotori Yui**

**Lanessa29**

**momoka1808**

**Nerdinaction**

**Ren-chan Jinguji**

**Tokittoki**

**TsukihanaYUE**

**I also dedicate it to anyone who reads and enjoys it! I probably wouldn't keep writing it if nobody liked it... **

******Keshiki o arigato! **And as usual: Tanoshimu! ^_^

* * *

"'Cause I really always knew that my little crime

Would be cold that's why I got a heater for your thighs,

And I know, I know it's not your time,

But bye bye

And a word to the wise

When the fire dies,

You think it's over but

It's just begun,

Baby don't cry

You had my heart

At least for the most part

'Cause everybody's gotta die sometime

We fell apart,

Let's make a new start

'Cause everybody's gotta die sometime,

But baby don't cr-"

"Would you stop singing?" Roku glanced away from the road to look at Tokiya. Tokiya bit down on his tongue to keep himself from muttering the last few lines left in the song that was playing on the radio of the red convertible.

"Thank you... God you give me such a headache!" Roku smacked his hand on the wheel and sped up a bit. Tokiya looked worriedly out the window. He hated Roku. But he couldn't tell anyone about the abuse he had been receiving. Roku had come crawling back after that first night in the hotel. He wouldn't take no for an answer. Ren seemed glad that Tokiya had someone now, although the others were a little iffy. They knew he was still getting over me.

_Well why don't you shut your own mouth? At least my voice sounds better than yours..._

Tokiya looked out the window and flinched as Roku changed the song on the radio.

_He knows I like that song... Asshole..._

They pulled into the driveway of our house. I hopped the door as Tokiya climbed out of the car. He walked around the back of the car and pulled a few grocery bags out of the trunk. Roku stared at him with an angry expression then turned and walked in the house, refusing to help. This had pretty much gone on for six months: Tokiya doing all the work around the house, getting punched around when he did something wrong... And I don't even wanna talk about what happened at night.

Tokiya lugged the five heavy bags through the front door and into the kitchen. He set them all down on the floor and started going through them.

"Strawberries... Raspberries..." He took the berries out and rinsed them in the sink, then threw them all together in a Tupperware bowl and stuck it in the almost empty fridge.

After he finished putting all the food away, he opened one of the cabinets to get out a small bowl. He opened the fridge to get some of the strawberries. He loved strawberries. He would never admit it... He didn't want me buying him the chocolate covered ones -3- That little goof...

Roku walked in the kitchen and wrapped his arms around Tokiya's waist as he bent down to put the fruit back in the fridge. Tokiya turned his head a little to glance at Roku and tossed the bowl in the fridge, then stood up quickly to move away from him as he shut the fridge door.

"Roku, please just leave me alone," Tokiya's voice was harsh as Roku moved closer and nipped his ear. "I'm not in the mood-"

"You're _never_ in the mood," Roku's hand went up Tokiya's shirt and he dug his nails into the younger one's back.

"Roku stop." Tokiya closed his eyes and stood stiffly. He didn't want Roku to see how afraid he was.

"But I don't want to." Roku bit Tokiya's ear, earning a fearful voice escape Tokiya's lips.

"Please..." He was trembling now. Roku was smirking. He laughed at Tokiya's fear.

But I didn't laugh. I felt the rage boiling up in me again, as it did every night. Only this was my breaking point.

I moved over to them swiftly and gripped onto Roku's arm harshly, digging my own nails into his skin and dragging them down, but he didn't even react.

"Leave him alone!" I kicked Roku's leg. Again, no damn response...

I felt like I was gonna kill someone. I was THAT mad.

"LEAVE HIM THE FUCK ALONE!" I screamed at the top of my lungs, and all the cabinets in the kitchen flew open. They all smashed closed, then tumbled open again as the plates and bowls all came tumbling out.

"What the fuck?" Roku moved back a little from Tokiya as everything slammed and broke. Tokiya was shaking as he ran over to the other counter and snatched a kitchen knife. He held it up in front of him. He wasn't that threatening, though.

"GET THE FUCK OUT!" I screamed again, and this time I heard something explode. A deep red liquid dripped out the fridge. Tokiya's face was pale with fear. He sunk down to his knees, the knife being held loosely in his hands.

Roku's eyes grew wide and he left, running out through the front door.

"Fucking crazy!" I heard him calling after Tokiya.

Well, by this time, Tokiya was crying, his cheeks wet with tears. The plates lay shattered around him. He sat in the corner of the room, back against a corner cabinet.

"Oh god... I'm sorry Toki..." I went over to him and hugged him tightly. He flinched as my arms touched him, pulling away. His breath was visible in the cold.

"G-go away!" He swung the knife at me. I felt a pain in my heart. He didn't want me.

* * *

"What the hell?" Syo walked in the house with Masato a little while later. Tokiya held his phone in his hands, the knife dropped down at his side. The fridge was still dripping red, the plates still all shattered on the ground.

"What the fuck did you do to him Tokiya?" Syo sidestepped around some of the dished to get to Tokiya as Masato disappeared to go find the broom.

Syo crouched down in front of Tokiya, who was trying his best to stop crying.

"I-I-I didn't do anything!" Tokiya sobbed and Syo hugged him.

"... Well something obviously happened..." Masato came back with the broom and started sweeping up the broken shards of porcelain.

"..." Tokiya hugged himself. "... Th-they just opened and stuff fell out... Then they slammed again... Then the fridge exploded..." He shivered again.

"Hm." Syo stood up and walked to the fridge. He opened it slowly, the red juice leaking more and a twisted piece of plastic tumbled to the floor. Syo picked it up.

It was the bowl. The bowl that had the strawberries in it. That's what the red was, I guess... I hadn't meant to do that.

Tokiya slowly stood up and walked over to the living room through the small path Masa had swept. He fell onto the couch and pulled the blanket up over him.

Syo looked over at Masato.

"... Is this a _bowl?_" He held up the piece of the Tupperware to Masato. Masa shrugged. He set the broom to the side and walked over to the living room and sat down next to Tokiya.

"... You've had a bad year, haven't you?" Tokiya had the blanket up over his head. The trauma had gotten to him, and he had already fallen asleep. Masato smiled and pulled the blanket down a bit so Toki could actually breathe.

"Don't worry Ichinose... Otoya would never hurt you... Purposely."

* * *

**Gaaaaah that just seems so horrible! 3 I'm sorry if it isn't as good as the others... I just wanted to get rid of Roku so bad! He's such an asshole... And I just can't stand him! Especially if he's abusing my Tokiya! :3 And I had this idea for a while. I wish I could have come up with a better way to make Roku leave. I really wanted to write today, but this doesn't seem that good to me... Sorry if you were disappointed :/ I hope the next chapter is better!**

**Sayonara! Jikai o ai shimashou! ^_^**


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